"Ethan" (Updated)

            It had all started with the Chinese.  The scientific community in China had become the “Wild West” of the science world.  Chinese scientists didn’t have the same limits that many other nations imposed upon research, such as the outlawing genetic engineering of human DNA or the banning of the use of human embryos in scientific research.  Chinese scientists had begun to experiment with the genetic engineering of human embryos – something that had been outlawed in most other industrialized nations decades earlier as the fear that people would begin to design their own babies’ intelligence and looks.  The Chinese reported that they had tried to manipulate the genes that were responsible for various genetic diseases in the human body.  They insisted that the embryos would have never survived and that the data gathered was never planned on being used to create “designer” babies.  The Chinese government, after discussions with the United Nations and other nations, closed down the facilities engaged in the research and the world thought that that was the end of it.  As time passed, genetic engineering of plants, animals, bacteria, and viruses became a common technology that eventually settled into academia and failed to get the attention of the news media.  Laws became more relaxed and often quietly discarded.  Some nations began to actively seek out those Chinese scientists that had experimented with genetically modifying human DNA.  Biotechnology companies sought out the brightest of those scientists.  For years, despite rumors and protest campaigns, companies remained quiet concerning any research involving the modification of human DNA, until that day Ethan was presented to the world.

The world at large didn’t know about Ethan until he was six years old.  When he was presented at the international news conference, people immediately fell in love with the adorable child.  He amazed everyone with his intellectual abilities and physical skills.  Of course, many thought that he was just an ordinary child – until it was proven that he really was the first genetically modified human.  A DNA test was done live at the press conference under the skeptic eyes of several noted scientists from various international universities.  The scientists who presented him to the world talked about the various genetic changes and genetic protein coding.  They merely glanced over the topic of  “insertion of other taxonomic genetic material”, but the world was more enchanted with the sweetness of the child they saw online singing “Jesus Loves Me”.  Some questioned the phrase “insertion of other taxonomic genetic material”, but the scientists would state that it was merely inconsequential biological material and unimportant to the discussion. The procedure, according to the scientists employed by the American Bio-Tech Consortium (ABTC) was completely safe - Ethan was as human as anyone else. The procedure, they explained, took DNA from a human egg and a human sperm and merely modified them to bring out the best qualities possible. It was no different, they assured, than buying a car and then adding the best options available to it.  Ethan was a child with the best options that could be found in DNA.

            ABTC said that there had been extraordinary testing of the procedures involved in producing Ethan.  They admitted that there had been four other children before Ethan who had not survived but that finally all the problems of viability had been solved.  The ABTC scientists gave lectures at every major university on the development and future of genetically engineered children.  They asserted that Ethan would have a normal, if not extended, lifespan and that he was as healthy, if not healthier, as any child his age.  Doctors across the globe backed up the claims of the ABTC, signing letters supporting the work, which were published in newspapers around the world. Governments quickly approved the procedures and gave ABTC a wide leeway.  Many thought it would be a new golden age for Mankind.
       The year after Ethan turned eleven, couples from across the world had embraced the new technology to create their own baby.  It was estimated that well over 1,000 couples had initially signed up when the technology was first offered.  Many people wondered if it could solve their infertility.  Some just wanted the best child money could buy.  Some just wanted a bright healthy child like Ethan.  ABTC reported that by the first anniversary of the procedure, fifty thousand couples had CNM children.
       Genetic engineering wasn’t a foreign thing to people at the time.  It had become an accepted part of life.  Genetic engineering was to this time, as chemistry was to the 20^th Century – the way to a better life.  There were still non-GMO fundamentalists that would complain or protest, but no one took them seriously.  It had been many years since genetically modified organisms had lost their patents and they were now everywhere.  You couldn’t avoid them since practically all life now contained bits of altered DNA –“genetic pollution”, as some radicals called it.  “Organic” came to mean merely anything grown stationary in soil since the locomotive vegetable barrier had been broken.  Cross-taxonomic organisms, locomotive or not, had become a fact of life. Before Ethan the greatest genetic engineering feat had been the creation of the avocado steak, the first non-locomotive meat, from a “tree”.
        By the time Ethan had turned 20, he had been joined by over 4,020,730 other “Children of the New Mother”, or CNM. They had been given that name by a journalist who coined the term to differentiate them from unmodified children, or “Children of the Old Mother” – “Old Mother” referring to the mythological Mother Earth.  The “New Mother” was science.  The ABTC preferred to call them “non-CNM” children –it made them to be seen as lacking something important.
        Most of the major hospitals of the world had CNM franchises.  The franchises were so popular because of the huge profits that could be made by selling CNM products and services.  After the biological mother had been implanted with the CNM egg, she could be sold a multitude of prenatal packages; after the birth, there were the various other products based on the age of the child.  Of course no one wanted their CNM child to be the one lacking the best.  The financial floodgates really opened when the CNM franchises began to offer products and services to parents of non-CNM children. The best-selling product for non-CNM children was CNM cellular injections. Hospitals were also urged to consider CNM services for certain illnesses and conditions in adults.
       Anyone visiting a CNM franchise couldn’t get away from Ethan’s image.  Cardboard cutouts of Ethan would direct you to various areas.  Posters of the cute little boy staring out at you asking, “How important is your child? If they aren’t Children of the New Mother, then try CNM CogniTherapy today!”  Videos played in every hospital waiting room and lobby showing Ethan solving intricate math problems and laughing. The ubiquitous t-shirts with his drawings or watercolours were usually sold-out.  The Adventures of Ethan comic books were on every shelf.
       People had not seen much of Ethan himself since his 16^th birthday; anyway, the world was busy with its new prodigies.  The ABTC stated that Ethan was living a regular life and that they did not want him to be under the scrutiny of the press every day.  Of course, you would hear a rumor or see a photo, but there really wasn’t too much press about Ethan.  The tabloids would report that he was supposedly dating some young film star or a royal, but not much else.
        The children born after Ethan, however, were constantly in the news.  Many were the focus of human-interest stories.  The stories focusing on their rights and conditions always made the top news stories. The American Bio-tech Consortium had made the claim that genetically modified children had to attend the ABTC School of Science and the Arts (available at most franchises), and many parents complained; the court ruled that the parents had signed a waiver upon implantation of the modified embryo and had to comply or give their child up to the guardianship of the ABTC. In the ruling the court stated that the children were too mentally advanced for regular public or private school and only the ABTC could effectively and completely educate them.  One couple had been imprisoned for endangering a minor and child abuse when they went to live in the mountains with their CNM child.  There was a big media blitz when one couple won a lawsuit against a church that had refused to allow their young boy to enter the cathedral during a vacation, the priest saying, “that the child was an abomination unto the Lord”.
        The biggest scandal on record occurred after a journalist attempted to interview Ethan on his 25^th birthday. The ABTC had issued an official birthday packet, covering what Ethan had been doing since his 16^th birthday.  According to the packet, he had attended a major university and had started a job at ABTC as a genetic engineer/advisor.  The journalist, Laura Hopkins, had wanted more information as well as a personal interview with Ethan but ABTC refused again and again.  She finally went undercover as an ABTC franchise employee, ultimately making it to ABTC central headquarters.  She published a story on the eve of Ethan’s 33^rd birthday that totally blew Ethan’s life open to the world.  The world was shocked.  Many refused to believe it, however, Miss Hopkins had documented everything perfectly.
       According to the Hopkins Report, there was a reason Ethan disappeared from the public when he was 16 and it didn’t follow the story released to the public.  When Ethan started to experience puberty, some hidden genes had begun to exert themselves; Ethan began to develop physical changes beyond those of a normal puberty, including but not limited to extremely excessive hair growth, bony growth projections on his jaw, and rough hard epithelial cells on his skin. Besides the physical changes, Ethan had begun to experience intense moments of rage so bad he had to be restrained and sedated.  Hopkins also reported that Ethan could now only consume raw meat, becoming very ill and violent if he did not.  Ethan had also begun to fail many mental skill tests, although he had maintained his excellence in physical skills.  ABTC commented to say only that the report was a lie and they were talking to their lawyers.  ABTC did admit that certain treatments had been given free to CNM children after Ethan to correct certain irregularities.  However, they refused to admit that Ethan wasn’t the accomplished young man that he was portrayed as being.  A judge asked to meet with Ethan face-to-face, and ultimately the ABTC had to admit that that was impossible, due to Ethan’s violent nature.  For the next two years, there was a torrent of legal battles, suits and counter suits. 

Parents of CNM children began to give up their children to ABTC guardianship or to the appropriate authorities, although some parents refused to even consider it.  One couple came out and publicly said that they were well aware that they had made a mistake genetically engineering their child, but that they were ready to accept the responsibility of their actions.  The couple was killed by their CNM son who himself was shot by the police who answered the emergency call.  When pictures of the boy were leaked online, many considered it a joke.  The pictures of the dead boy were considered by many to be photographs of an animal that had been altered.  When it was proven it was indeed the boy, people became outraged and frightened.

            ABTC franchise hospitals began to report that the parents of CNM children were overwhelming them.  Many of the children had started to become ill and many of the hospitals were unprepared for the onslaught.  Governments didn’t get involved until one of the children went on a rampage and killed four nurses. The death of the nurses started people openly talking about what would actually happen when the children grew up.   Riots around the world damaged and sometimes destroyed ABTC facilities.  Doctors, scientists and others connected with ABTC were attacked. 

  At the last count there were 220,267,000 CNM children worldwide. An estimated third of all non-CNM children worldwide had received at least one CNM cellular treatment, designed to enhance their DNA.  People began asking the question –who was really truly human?

“Do wizards need money?”

 

I should be working on my writing.  Procrastination has set in. This is merely done for the fun of it.  I enjoy Ms. Rowling's imaginitive writing, but I get these questions in my head and want to answer them (writing practice and mental exercise is my excuse).  So to get the formalities out of the way: Disclaimer: All Harry Potter names, characters, places, incidents et al. herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and her legal licensees, including but not limited to Bloomsbury/Scholastic, etc. No copyright or trademark infringement is intended and no money is being made.

Muggle-born Orientation Lecture (MOLe) #22, 

presented by Prof. Amelia Tillywig, answering the question, 

“Do wizards need money?”

Professor Tillywig: “Most wizards have a large stockpile of gold, silver, and bronze metals in the bank.  Some of the most powerful wizards and witches in history are said to have had the powers of alchemic transmutation –the ability to turn base metals into precious metals.  All magical folk have the power to feed, to clothe, and to shelter themselves without the need of money.  Magical folk can exist without money or an economic system, yet we choose to use the gold Galleon, the silver Sickle, and the bronze Knut everyday. Why do we bother with a system of money?

It happens that gold, silver, and bronze have the unique characteristics of being incredibly powerful conductors and intensifiers of magic.  Rarely are wands made using gold, silver, or bronze due to their power potential; when one of the precious metals is used in creation of a wand it must be used in small amounts by a powerful wizard using other substances able to subtlety balance the effects of the potent metal. Any spell using these metals should be considered very forceful and extremely effective (and should only be attempted by accomplished magic folk). Charms, amulets, and other magical items made of one of the precious metals has the magic of the item amplified many, many times over. A witch and wizard can successfully use magic without ever using the precious metals; however, the metals remain an extremely strong cultural symbol of increased magical power and potential.

The symbolism of the metals is actually the basis of the wizard ‘monetary system’.  Magic folk could easily swap needed items or use a simple barter system, yet they prefer to use a system of ‘power exchange’.

When a magic person offers the owner of The Three Broomsticks Pub two sickles for a pint of butterbeer, he isn’t offering money –he’s offering power.  He’s saying, in effect, ‘Take this small representation of potential magical strength in exchange for the butterbeer’.  It is an exchange of power having nothing to do with economics.

Old wizarding families that sit upon outrageous uncountable fortunes would look wealthy by Muggle standards but to magic folk they are powerful –powerful enough to give away bits of potential magical power in exchange for grand finery without worry.  Magic people with more limited stashes of the precious metals must be a bit more conservative.

Why not just make more precious metals using magic?  The alchemic transmutation of base metals into precious metals is difficult for even the most experienced and powerful wizards using huge amounts of magic; and even then, it has its limitations.  Most available precious metals have been secured into family vaults and are passed on to following generations.”

“Why do some magical spaces seem so dusty, dirty and full of cobwebs?”

I should be working on my writing.  Procrastination has set in. This is merely done for the fun of it.  I enjoy Ms. Rowling's imaginitive writing, but I get these questions in my head and want to answer them (writing practice and mental exercise is my excuse).  So to get the formalities out of the way: Disclaimer: All Harry Potter names, characters, places, incidents et al. herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and her legal licensees, including but not limited to Bloomsbury/Scholastic, etc. No copyright or trademark infringement is intended and no money is being made.

 

Muggle-born Orientation Lecture (MOLe) #13, 

presented by Prof. Amelia Tillywig, answering the question, 

“Why do some magical spaces seem so dusty, dirty and full of cobwebs?”

Professor Tillywig: “One of the first things that many of you will notice is that the world of magical folk is a bit dusty.  It isn’t because magical folk are particularly dirty or unclean; we’re just all very careful.  The wizarding world has dangers never seen in the other world –the most mundane object can be imbued with a magic spell or charm and become dangerous if treated without caution or respect.  Well what does this have to do with the dust and cobwebs found in many places in the magical world, you may ask?  I can easily answer that for you.

As I was wizard-born, I can tell you that we are told from a very early age to keep our hands in our pockets when we went to the house of a wizard or witch.  To go around touching strange objects in a strange magical environment can get you hurt very badly or even kill you.  My cousin Bartimelous was killed when he picked up a charmed pair of secateurs in the shed of an old witch – it cut him up like he was an old hedge.  He had neither the ability to control it nor the power.  As they say in the Muggle world, ‘let sleeping dogs lie’.  Because we have been trained not to touch or interact with things we don’t know, you’d never see a magical being going into the house of a dead magical person to have a clear out.  We’ll just let the dust collect and leave most of the objects alone.  No one wants to be the victim of contagious magic.

That is one of the biggest problems in the magical world –contagious magic. Contagious magic is when objects are still linked to a witch or wizard or still imbued with a charm with the potential to suddenly become magically active.  This is a problem especially if a spell or charm has not been carried out to fruition.  A needle can be charmed to, say, repair a tear in a robe, but the magical person might walk away before the act is accomplished.  That needle might retain the charm and end up poking someone in the eye or sewing up his or her mouth. [The professor makes a sewing motion across her mouth, and then pretends to try to speak.  She throws her hands into the air with feigned exasperation, then continues.]  Always be sure to carry your spells and charms to fruition or nullify them. As the saying goes, ‘if you can’t carry it out, then put it out. Nullify, nullify, nullify.’

Even when things are not purposely imbued with magic, natural objects can still have magical effects.  For example, feathers are powerful objects used in the magical world for many purposes.  The quill itself that you are holding is an important magical tool.  Feathers have been used in magic for thousands of years because of their magical potential.  To rub a feather duster across an assortment of objects could be a very dangerous act.  Let me demonstrate; [The professor walks to her desk and positions a small clay pot of ivy near the edge.  She picks up her wand and turns the pot of ivy into a pot of ‘poison ivy’.  The spines on the tip of the leaves strike against the pot making tiny pinging sounds.  The enchanted vine twists and turns, occasionally striking at nearby objects like an angry serpent.  The professor picks up a quill and moves the tip toward the ‘poison ivy’ which strikes at it.]  As you see the charmed ivy is very dangerous as this simple quill can be. [She reaches into a nearby drawer and pulls out a polished ball of quartz]  As you may or may not know, quartz is also a powerful natural object often used in charms, spells and rituals.  The combination of feather and quartz can produce an intriguing elementary charm. Watch. [She sets the orb onto the desk and rolls it toward the potted plant.  It hits the clay pot, with a sharp tap.  The ‘poison ivy’ coils then strikes out at the quartz.  The professor reaches in with the quill and rubs it across the polished surface of the quartz.  Immediately, the ‘poison ivy’ reverts back to a pot of ordinary harmless ivy. The professor stops rubbing the quill against the quartz and the charmed ivy then returns to its venomous state.  The professor rests against the edge of her desk and crosses her arms.  The tip of the quill brushes against her nose and she lets out a small sneeze.  She regains her composure.]  Rubbing a feather, quill or not, over a polished quartz can temporarily create a nullifying magical effect – it, of course, only lasts seconds and can only be done once with each feather.  Imagine the effect if that is done near a binding spell keeping a dangerous enchanted object at bay.  Imagine if it was done near a magical lock keeping something dangerous imprisoned.  It is a very weak piece of magic but the potential is there.

What I’m saying is that it is the magical potential of objects that prevent magical folks to approach unknown objects with caution and respect.  You wouldn’t find many witches or witches that would randomly pick up an object and wipe it with a cleaning cloth or polish it with a chamois.  No magical folk would walk into an unknown room and begin to dust everything with a feather duster.  I hope you will conduct yourself accordingly.

It must also be noted, however, that some magical spaces are kept very clean for security reasons.  Magical powders and dustings can easily be disguised as ordinary house dust.  Spiders, as well as other small creatures, might be employed as ‘bugging devices’.  Cleanliness is simply a security measure.  Aurors will go into a space that needs to be secured and they will inventory every object.  They will also disintegrate every dust particle and cobweb.  They will use enchantments to repel small creatures and dirt.  It is a long and intense charm session that most magical folk wouldn’t want to conduct.

Russia’s and Empress Catherine II’s Reaction to the American Declaration of Independence

This post is a further exploration about how other countries (and their leaders) reacted to the American Declaration of Independence.

Late 18th century English cartoon on Catherine the Great's territorial ambitions in Turkey. (The Granger Collection, New York)

---

       Nikolai N. Bolkhovitinov, director of the Center for North American Studies of the Institute of World History and academician of the Russian Academy of Sciences, wrote*:   “The news of the adoption of the Declaration of Independence by the Continental Congress on July 4, 1776, was first reported in a Russian document on August 13. This was a brief notation in a dispatch from the Russian chargé d'affaires at London, Vasilii Grigor'evich Lizakevich, to the first minister of the College of Foreign Affairs, Count Nikita Ivanovich Panin. A detailed account of the content and significance of the declaration was given by the Russian diplomat a week later: ‘In the Declaration of Independence promulgated by the general Congress on July 4,’ wrote Lizakevich, are repeated all the colonies' previous grievances concerning the redress of which they had in vain addressed themselves to the King, to Parliament, and to the British nation. No longer seeing any hope of correcting the abuses which they have suffered, they have found themselves compelled to issue this solemn declaration, which proclaims the United Colonies a free and independent state, thereby severing all their previous ties with Great Britain. In consequence of their independence, the United Colonies have the right and the power to declare war, to conclude peace, to contract alliances, to establish trade, and so forth, pledging themselves to sacrifice their lives, their honor, and all their possessions in order to preserve all the aforementioned privileges.

Although the Russian diplomat in his dispatch to the tsarist court was prudent not to mention high principles and the natural rights of man, it is to his credit that he evaluated the declaration and the courage of its creators very positively. ‘The publication of this document,’ Lizakevich concludes, ‘as well as the proclamation of a formal declaration of war against Great Britain offer evidence of the courage of the leadership there.’

The Russian diplomat clearly emphasized that the document was a declaration of war on Britain. The reports of Russian diplomats from London, in particular the dispatch of Lizakevich, served as an important source of information for the head of the College of Foreign Affairs, Panin, and Catherine II (Catherine the Great) herself on the situation in America and contributed to the formation, within the tsarist government, of an opinion critical of Britain's policy toward her former colonies. It is significant that the empress repeatedly observed that separation of the American colonies from Britain was practically unavoidable and that Panin and his close colleagues found the reasons for the rebellion in North America in the "personal fault" of the British cabinet and believed that the separation of the colonies from their mother country did not conflict with the interests of Russia and might even be advantageous to her.”

* http://chnm.gmu.edu/declaration/bolk.html

       The American revolutionary government sent Francis Dana as the official representative to the Court of St. Petersburg.  During his time in Russia, Empress Catherine the Great refused to meet with him or to officially recognize the United States.  However, the Empress did institute The First League of Armed Neutrality.  This union consisted of Russia, France, and Spain against Great Britain.  Members of the League all agreed to protect the right of neutral powers to trade with warring powers, meaning they could continue to trade with the United States without concern for British blockades or attacks.  Americans continued to receive vital supplies from Europe throughout the war, allowing them to defeat Great Britain.  Catherine wasn’t exactly on the side of the Americans; it was more of a case of disliking the British and King George III.  She had already refused British use of the Russian army and navy.  She had thought that King George had allowed the rebellion to occur and that he should be taught a lesson.  The Russian reaction was more about the Empress gaining power over King George than American independence. (see http://www.quora.com/What-was-Russias-reaction-when-America-declared-its-independence)

For a Russian translation of the American Declaration of Independence and further reading: http://chnm.gmu.edu/declaration/russian.html

Heaven and Earth (the book)

“As proud Southerners, we don’t take kindly to being told by Yankees what we are doing wrong. It might be the wrongest of the wrong, but we prefer that you didn’t correct us. Don’t come down here and think you know what’s going on. Heck, even we don’t know what’s going on here half the time.” --from "The Squirrels of Sypsamulga"

A collection of mostly humorous short stories 
about the American South

[The wedding has started and two cows have died from being poisoned outside the church hall, which has been decorated for the wedding reception. Sam and Arliss have to figure out how to get rid of the dead cows. They decide to gut ‘em and cut ‘em to make them easier to remove, but a pocketknife is too small…]

      “It’s going to take forever to do this with a pocketknife, Arliss.”
      “Don’t Cousin Silas have one of them little chainsaws in his pick-up truck they use to cut branches off trees? I bet it’d slice right through that meat.”
      “He does but won’t a chainsaw, even a little one, be too noisy?”
Arliss thought for a second and said, “Well, I’m not that smart but I think that if the cow’s gutted and bled then we could pull him into the church hall to cut him up with it. I think that’d muffle the sound. They ain’t that noisy anyways. They’d never hear it with the doors shut way up there in the church sanctuary.”
      “Arliss, you’re brilliant. Now run go get that saw out of Silas’ truck!”
      Sam started to pull the gutted carcass up the steps of church hall. Arliss pulled up his pants and ran up the hill to the church parking lot. He rubbed his nose on his sleeve and smiled to himself because he was so brilliant.

---Excerpt from the story “Luther and Wynelle’s Wedding” from “Heaven and Earth”

Click here to purchase on Amazon
 (In the UK, click here.)

Click here to purchase at Barnes and Noble

Also available and Powells and other retailers.

ISBN: 9781500599027

The Alien History of Earth: Novaterra

Some people believe aliens exist. 

History knows they do - 

and you'll never believe who they are. 

 Ty and Ash Edwards, twins recovering from a family tragedy, are taken to live with a distant family member. An adventure beyond belief begins –and they discover that their lives are more complicated than they could ever imagine.

Click here to purchase at Amazon  (In the UK? click here)
Click here to purchase at Barnes and Noble

• ISBN-10: 1503356787
• ISBN-13: 978-1503356788

Sugar Rush (poem)

photo by Elisa Azzali CC by 2.0

I wish funnel clouds were funnel cakes,

And thunderstorms blueberry pies.

I wish rain were made of sweet iced tea,

Lemon drops would be the sun.

I wish clouds were only fluffy cakes

Near mountains made of fudge,

Encircling an ice cream desert

With an oasis of butter rum.

Trees made full of gingersnaps

Pouring hot chocolate for fun.

Oh, for a world of spun sugar -

I couldn’t eat just one.

But the world’s not made of sugar

So chew a piece of gum

Keep the sugar in my dreams

Or I’ll just weigh a ton.

"Teach Yourself." (poem)

My maternal grandmother (we called her Nanny) was a smart lady without a complete formal education; she only went to the fourth grade in a very rural Alabama schoolhouse.  Besides the experiences that life gave her, she read books bought at second-hand shops to educate herself.  This included the set of encyclopedias that she read for enjoyment each evening (I do that too!).   She thought there was nothing limiting you from learning something new - the sky is the limit!

Mary sits in her chair.
She’s worked all day.
She stretches to the shelf,
Grabs an encyclopedia,
Begins to read.
A fourth-grade education,
Then the cotton fields.
A bakery worker
And then a housekeeper.
She smiles as she reads.
Her eye follows her finger,
Her finger leads the words.
The nation of Finland,
The lifecycle of a fly,
Flowers of the Amazon,
The French Revolution.
She stops to think.
She gives herself a gift,
No one can take it away.

"Sour Cream Apple Cake"

     

       In the South, family transcends everything else – it is the structure of the South.  It is the foundation of everything. There is also the Southern trinity of religion, football and food – you can decide for yourself the order of things; but that trinity still comes second to family.  Families start churches. Food is ever-present at family get-togethers and reunions.  Families and familial football teams define communities.  Families spread over miles have a closer relationship than neighbors right next door (although may times in the South, your neighbors are your family). But indeed foundations can also break. 

Apple blossoms

       Family relationships in the South can die easily when it comes to one of its greatest poisons -- money.  Many fights over wills, or lack thereof, of a loved one have broken many a Southern family.  Greed and misunderstandings coupled with money or the vision of money are some of the greatest poisons within Southern families.  A family dynasty of a hundred years can be undone over the slightest with a drop of one of these poisons.  It doesn’t take much to facilitate the first bit to be dropped.  Something as even as simple as a valuable, prize-winning recipe can be the catalyst.

      

       The recipe for Sour Cream Apple Cake has never really been publicly known.  Guesses have been made for decades as to the ingredients and it continues to be the topic of many a gossip session.  Most people understand that whatever the recipe, the same basic ingredients are used.  Everyone knows there are apples and sour cream in it, as well as the usual cake ingredients like flour and sugar.  However, every year, many people still hear discussions and arguments on the specifics used. What kind of spices? What type of flour? Fresh apples or not? Some have heard less controversy over sections of the Holy Bible Itself than the recipe of Sour Cream Apple Cake.  But as long as the Edwards sisters live, they have vowed the original recipe would remain mysterious.  They eventually released “simple’ versions of the recipe during interviews, but the original “from-scratch” recipe remains a secret.

       Mattie Sue Edwards was the first person in Chester County to cook Sour Cream Apple Cake.  The tale Miss Mattie would tell was that the recipe for the cake came from her encounter with the cook of a famous Southern household in Georgia on a visit to a Piggly Wiggly.  The recipe had been written in barely legible handwriting on butcher paper, according to Miss Mattie, and was unceremoniously destroyed on one frosty Southern morning as she was trying to light the pilot light to bake the famous cake – how poetic!  She never wrote it down again.  Some say she didn’t want the recipe to fall into the wrong hands, as the cake went on to win countless awards and ribbons for Miss Mattie. As the years passed, she would repeat from memory the recipe to her granddaughters who themselves would also win countless baking competitions with the recipe.

       There has never been such devotion for food as the devotion of rival sisters Mildred Edwards Davis and Martha Edwards Phillips toward their grandmother’s Sour Cream Apple Cake. Ever since their paternal grandmother Mattie Sue Edwards passed, the two sisters have been fighting.  And it’s usually about Sour Cream Apple Cake, or at least that’s where it begins.

Mildred (Milly) Sue Edwards Davis

 Mildred Edwards Davis’ Original Sour Cream Apple Cake

1 stick oleomargarine

1 (18 ½ oz.) yellow cake mix (Betty Crocker)

½ cup coconut

2-½ cup applesauce

1 cup Breakstone sour cream

½ cup sugar

1 tsp cinnamon

1 egg, beaten

Cut oleo into cake mix, add coconut.  Put in an ungreased 13x9x2 inch pan and build up edges a little bit.  Bake 10 minutes in 350-degree oven.  Spread applesauce over top of warm crust.  Sprinkle sugar and cinnamon on top.  Mix beaten egg with sour cream and drizzle over applesauce and sugar.  Bake 20 to 25 minutes.

       “I think I was about six years old when Momma Sue first let me help her bake her famous apple cake.  I loved staring at all the awards and ribbons she kept in the kitchen on a high shelf up above the refrigerator.  She always kept her kitchen sparkling white, because according to her ‘the white walls made the blue ribbons sparkle’.  When cooking she’d always wear a blue apron on which was written ‘first-prize chef’ given to her by Papaw Sam.  I remember that I had a stool that I would stand on and watch every move she made.  I think that’s why my cake is so better than those trying to imitate, like that sister of mine.

        I’m trustin’ you to remember what it takes to make this cake.  I want you to be able to continue on after I go on to be with the Lord.  It’s all up to you, Milly Sue,’ she would say to me as she carefully added ingredients to her old gray mixing bowl.  I still use that old mixing bowl every time I make her cake.  It just adds that little bit of love to it, you know.  I promised her that I would, cross my heart, every time she told me that.  She’d always smile and touch my nose, leaving a little smear of batter. I’d reach up and wipe it off, then taste it. I still use a taste of batter to confirm I’m doing it right.  My sister all this time was running around looking in the cupboards or making some unruly noise.  She’d make Momma Sue stop and scold her.  Momma Sue would just shake her head every time a pan or spoon would hit the floor, she wouldn’t get a switch to her little bottom unless she heard china breakin’.  That gal never really listened to anything Momma Sue would say.  Many times I’d hear Momma Sue complaining about my sister under her breath.

       ‘I wish they’d send her to her Yankee grandmother,’ she’d say through almost clenched teeth.

       My sister had been named after our maternal grandmother who was from Kentucky.  Momma Sue considered every one north of Tennessee to be a Yankee and despised them.  She was never close to Mother, and Mother went out of her way to be argumentative with her.  Momma Sue said that Mother never lost her Yankee ideals or mannerisms.  I think Momma Sue thought it was her job to rid Mother of them, and that’s why she was so hard on Mother all the time.  I don’t ever remember a good word said between them.

       When Mother first got sick, we went to stay with Momma Sue.  I lived with her until I graduated high school.  I would go with her to competitions and events.  She’d always tell me how much she depended on me helping her – that I really helped her to win all her awards.  She’s always say that someday it would be up to me to keep up the winning streak, that’s the reason I do what I do.  We always had the best time during competition days.  It was sad when she got older and I had to go to them alone.

       That sister of mine, Molly, has come up with some kind of cake that she calls Sour Cream Apple Cake, but it doesn’t hold a candle to Momma Sue’s original recipe.  She’s always been like that, trying to outdo and to show-off.  She tells people that hers is the real Sour Cream Apple Cake; but I know for a fact that Momma Sue didn’t tell her the recipe.  She’s got this recipe using a boxed cake mix she copied from me.  I created it so busy folks could whip up an easy version of the cake; it was for an article in the local paper.  Then she comes along with her “version” of it a week later.  She tells folks that Momma Sue gave her the original recipe after I left home, but that’s a big lie.

       She’s won a few awards for what she calls the “original recipe”, but it has always been like a county fair or such.  She could never win a big-time award with it.  She did enter a big event one year – it was the year she came up to me hollerin’ and screamin’ about some craziness.  I don’t even remember much about it anymore.  I did see her talking to the judges afterwards, probably trying to tell them I cheated.  She was always trying to pull something like that over me.

       When Momma Sue got sick right before she died, Molly called and said she couldn’t come home for some reason.  Me and my husband ended up have to take care of Momma Sue all by ourselves.  Molly finally came home, but Momma Sue died a few days later.  She was absolutely on help and then she tried to steal everything not nailed down. After the funeral, all my sister wanted to do was to clean out the house and get away as fast as she could with as much as she could.  She wanted everything in Momma Sue’s kitchen and her cookbooks, and I wasn’t about to let that happen.  Haven’t talked to her much since that fiasco.”

Martha (Molly) Ann Edwards Phillips

Martha Edwards Phillips’ Heirloom Sour Cream Apple Cake

1 stick oleomargarine

½ cup sugar

1 egg, beaten

1 No.2 can applesauce

1 pkg. yellow cake mix (Duncan Hines)

1 tsp. Cinnamon

1-cup sour cream

½ cup Angel Flake coconut

Cut oleo into cake mix.  Add coconut.  Put in ungreased 13x9x2 inch pan, building up edges a little.  Bake 10 minutes in a 350-degree oven.  Take out of oven and add applesauce over the top of the warm crust and sprinkle sugar and cinnamon on top of this.  Mix beaten egg with sour cream and drizzle over applesauce and sugar.  Bake 20 to 25 minutes more.  Do not overbake.

       “When Mom passed on, I remember us going to live with Momma Sue.  I think I was about four years old.  I definitely remember her baking and the smells from her cooking was a comfort to me.  Smelling something baking still relaxes and calms me.  When my sister Milly was at school and before I started going, Momma Sue and I would make cookies or gingerbread.  We didn’t make much and would end up eating most of it before Milly got home. 

       I loved those days in the kitchen with Momma Sue.  I think it helped me deal with Mom’s death when I was so little.  I was always rambunctious as a child and couldn’t sit still for long; but when I was in the kitchen with Momma alone, I was settled and very quiet.  I listened to every word she would say.  I can still hear her calm melodious voice talking to me when I get anxious nowadays.  She told me my first teachers marveled on how well I paid attention once I settled down.  I think it comes from my time with Momma Sue in the kitchen.    

       Momma Sue would mix everything up in that old blue enameled bowl that she said Mom gave to her one Christmas.  I still use that old bowl when I make the apple cake.  I feel it connects me to Mom and Momma Sue both.  My sister was going to sell it at the estate sale and was determined to not let me have it.  It meant nothing to her but she was bound and determined not to let me have it.  She was that way with a lot of Momma Sue’s things, acting as if it all belonged to her after Momma Sue passed.  What she couldn’t use, she tried to sell for cash.  The only things I have that belonged to our mother are a little charm bracelet and a jeweled flower pin because my sister kept or sold everything else.  But I do have the memories of what Momma Sue told me about our mother.  My sister would never listen when Momma Sue would talk about Mom.

       Momma Sue told me that Mom wasn’t a very strong person and that she was always doing exactly what her mother wanted to do.  This caused all kinds of friction especially since Mom’s mother lived hundreds of miles away in Kentucky and didn’t always know what was going on.  Our maternal grandmother never wanted us kids to visit her alone.  Momma Sue always said she wished we could go stay with our maternal grandmother and allow her to have the same chance to enjoy us as much as she herself did.  But I think Momma Sue knew that that would never happen.  I really loved being around Momma Sue and learning everything she could teach me.

       When we went to live with Momma Sue full-time after Mom passed, my sister, Milly, started to spend more time in activities like the Girl Scouts and other clubs.  I myself preferred to just stay with Momma Sue helping with chores and cooking.  I learned so much during that time and believe it is why I choose to go into a career that dealt with food.

       I remember my sister always entering all kinds of baking contests and generally winning many of them.  We both entered a baking contest once.  The other contestants started telling me that my sister was talking it up that I sometimes cheated. I had the judges approach and question me about it.  Milly had written a grievance to them about me stealing her recipe and she wanted me barred from the competition.  After a long talk with all the judges, they let me stay.  As soon as I left them I went straight to my sister and gave her a piece of my mind.  I stayed pretty calm and collected, but I told her a thing or two.  Yes, I pitched a fit.  She couldn’t stand that I was there, but I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of leaving or dropping out.  She ended up winning, but one of the judges had a talk to me before I left after the competition. Her name was Eleanor Beardesley and she said that I showed a real talent and the judgment had nothing to do with my sister’s grievance or the rumors.  She even gave me contact information of one of her friends who was a food editor at a regional newspaper.  She said I had great poise and professionalism throughout all that had transpired doing the event.

       Momma Sue got sick just as I was starting my first job as a food editor.  I talked to her when she first started to get sick and she told me that whatever happened, she wanted me to put my nose to the grindstone and not worry about her.  She said that I had her dream job.  She told me that Milly and Jack were taking good care of her and I didn’t need to worry.  At the first opportunity though I did go back home and spent some time with Mommas Sue.  I didn’t have much time with her before she passed.  She wasn’t able to really eat much but she’d want to talk about recipes and dishes featured in the different articles I had worked on.  She wanted to know about food I’d eaten at different restaurants.  She was a “foodie” long before the word was invented!

       After the funeral, I wanted to just clean up and get on with life.  However, Milly fought me at every turn.  Momma Sue had always promised her cookbooks and recipes to me.  She had thought I’d get more use out of them.  I figured the fair thing would be to share them with my sister, but Milly wanted them all.  I think she hid several of the antique cookbooks even before the funeral, just to keep me from them. I finally made copies of most of the recipes I wanted and just let her have most of the cookbooks, but it still remains a contentious subject between us today.  It’s sad we fell out over all this.  I still haven’t really talked to her since.”

A Spring Evening Walk in Alabama (video)

"This is what I see every day and it inspires me.  Enjoy it as much as I do."

--T.F.Clardy

"Symphony of Night" (poem)

Only the Lord knows their numbers,

I’d guess in the thousands.

From my porch, it’s like a million

frogs, bugs, and birds.

You may believe it a cacophony.

But each takes its solo,

Then mixes with others.

Sounds overlap sounds.

Millions of years of practice

 to perfect it,

the natural symphony

of night.

"My Southern Food Memories, 1979" (poem)

file photo courtesy of Evan-Amos

Hoop cheese, Vi-enna sausages,

and saltine crackers

Eaten on the back of a pickup truck;

RC cola and peanuts,

Pawpaw’s treat at the feed store;

Eating a big Twix ‘n Tween burger

goin’ to Aunt Sue’s.

Fried cornbread, fried Spam and

a pot of black-eyed peas

Mama made in her kitchen.

Fried catfish with hushpuppies

Fryin’ at church on  Saturday.

Granny’s big breakfast with

grits, eggs, and sausage,

and Pawpaw asking

 for sawmill gravy on biscuits

the size of a cat’s head.

Easter Recipes from the South

Southern Baptists never acknowledged Lent in the 1970s but they loved a tooth-grittin’ly sweet dessert anytime.  Christians observing the Lenten season was as foreign to these parts as the Chinese language.  It was planting time down here in the South, and you couldn’t plow a cornfield or plant a garden fasting on fish or giving up fried foods – that’s what they did up in the big cities and the North. 

Girdle-Buster Pie 

20 Oreo cookies, crushed

¼ cup melted butter

1 quart vanilla ice cream, softened

1 small can evaporated milk

2 TB butter

½ cup sugar

2 squares bitter chocolate

½ tsp vanilla

Whipped cream

Toasted slivered almonds

Combine cookie crumbs and melted butter; pack into pie pan to make a crust, then freeze.  Spoon in vanilla ice cream; store in freezer.  Combine milk, butter, sugar, chocolate, and vanilla in a saucepan; cook over low heat until sauce is smooth, stirring frequently.  Let cool.  Serve pie topped with sauce, whipped cream, and slivered almonds.

(Source: New Holiday Cookbook: Favorite Recipes of Home Economics Teachers, 1974, Mrs. Sara Martin Conkle, Chelsea HS, Chelsea, Alabama)

I remember when I was young if there was a get-together in the South, there was a three-congealed-salad minimum.  During Easter, it sometimes went up to five or six. And our ladies in blue hair religiously enforced it.

Sunshine Salad

1 3-oz. Package lemon gelatin

1 3-oz package orange gelatin

2 cups boiling water

1 ½  cups cold water

1 no.2 can crushed pineapple

2 bananas, diced

40 miniature marshmallows

2/3 cup sugar

2 TB flour

1 egg, beaten

1 cup whipped cream

Dissolve gelatins in boiling water; stir in cold water.  Chill until thickened.  Drain pineapple; reserve juice.  Add pineapple, bananas, and marshmallows to gelatin; mix well.  Place in shallow, oblong baking dish; chill until firm.  Mix sugar, flour, egg, and I cup reserved pineapple juice in double boiler; cook until thickened, stirring constantly.  Cool; fold in whipped cream.  Place on top of salad.  Grate cheese on top of dressing, if desired.

(Source: New Holiday Cookbook: Favorite Recipes of Home Economics Teachers, 1974, Kathleen Burchett, Area Supvr of Home Economics, Jonesville, Virginia)

Ham was the usual meat dish for Easter in our South.  Some folks say that lamb is an alternative Southern meat for Easter, but that has to be a recent thing.  Lamb was a practically unknown dish in my part of the rural South.  As my Granny would say, “Them’s what they eat up North, that’s why they wear them fleece coats.”  Ham was the traditional dish because hogs were killed in the fall; and by Easter, the hams were smoked and cured to perfection. Anyway, we farm folks would eat plain ham, but some folks – those in the Southern part of the county, the descendants of the plantation people would sometimes serve ham with Jezebel Sauce.

Jezebel Sauce

1/3 to ½ small box dry mustard

1 large glass apple jelly

1 large glass pineapple preserves

½ small jar horseradish

2 tsp coarsely ground pepper

Mix mustard and apple jelly well.  Add remaining ingredients; mix thoroughly.  Place in decorative jars; tie ribbons on jars.  Tie on recipe card and serving suggestion for ham, roast pork or sausage.  Store in refridgerator; will keep indefinitely.

(Source: New Holiday Cookbook: Favorite Recipes of Home Economics Teachers, 1974, Mrs. Emely Sundbeck, Manor HS, Manor, Texas)

"Great Uncle Clarence in the Springtime" (poem)

Great Uncle Clarence sits on the porch,

The evening sun has set the sky a’fire.

He rocks back in his chair.

“The pecan tree’s a’leafin’ out,

time to put tomatoes in the ground,”

He swats at a spring mosquito.

“The dogwood’s a’bloomin’ too, time for my bath.”

Aunt Minnie smiles, first time since fall.

"A Spring Evening"

 The woodpecker barks,

This knothole is his.

The cardinal calls her mate,

He’s fighting with his twin.

Sparrows chirp frantically

 in the magnolia tree.

The oak tree is budding,

And yellow pine dust

Floats in the air,

The early moon shines silver

in the evening gold of the sun.

A spring day is ending.

"The Earth"

The great oak rises from the regal earth,

Its huge branches reaching, twisting and turning toward the sky like slow lightening. 

Ancient lightening from the earth bursting forth,

A slow green spark lit by the earth herself.

Through the eons, the steady earth goes gently with seasonal rhythm.

And hard rock melts into tears of sand,

While the sky moves with wild abandon; its wind, its lightening and storms,

A warrior in a constant war whose battles change daily;

The earth, an aged queen,

Repeats herself, quietly retelling her story forever.

Old Gardening Superstitions of the South

Plant corn when the dogwood blooms but never on May first, second and third; those are barren days.

Plant root vegetables in the dark of the moon and plant leaf vegetables in the new moon.

The first thunder of spring wakes up the snakes and tells you winter is busted.

You are sure of a rough winter if the grape or nut crops are heavy.

Snakes will not come around a place where gourds are growing.

Weeds won’t grow back if cut in March during the dark of the moon.

Ninety days after the first katydid is heard, there will be a frost.

To make peppers grow, you must be hot and mad when you’re planting them.

When it rains on June 2^nd, there will be no blackberries.

Plant cotton among your cucumber plants and insects will not attack your cucumbers.

It is bad luck to haul off or burn sassafras wood.

Never point at a watermelon with your first finger or the watermelon will drop off the vine.  Point at it with all your fingers.

Slips from plants should be stolen, only the stolen ones will grow.